Tuesday, February 27, 2007


alcohol is seriously damaging to thy health, or so the warnings say. and i must say i fully agree. i mean... after the operating systems exam, i reached into my pocket for my subway access card, and the pen that i was keeping there pierced my finger. now i got a trv kvlt tatoo, unvoluntarily. but, and that's a big butt, i also burned my fingers with the soldering iron recently, pierced my skin with wire accidentaly on two occasions, and cut myself with an unknown object at an unknown moment. Overall, that has to be more damage than drinking 10 beers. BUT, while dizzy from too much beer, i bit the inside of my cheeks, and that DAMN eFFing HURTS!
Alchool is bad for your health. There. I said it.

Monday, February 26, 2007


i am sad. i do not want to sleep. i want to achieve something, no matter how small, but i lack energy. i must sleep in order to restore my energy, but i do not wish to sleep. i will not sleep until i am satisfied with achieving something, no matter how small. i will not sleep until i have used this day in a productive manner. but i will not do that because i am too sad. i'm not in the mood. i'll read wikipedia and watch the news. i'll be falling asleep eventually, against my will, and i'll wake up just as tired as i am now. and probably just as sad. but i can not extinguish this sadness alone. no. i am weak. no. i am contempt with being sad. i can afford being sad. i have too good a life. and then i die.

Friday, February 23, 2007


one hour of blogging.
think of where my light is. i think it's passing by Saturn right about now.
I love Neptune. Neptune is so far and mysterious. Uranus too. I know it's irrelevant. It's just random bits, man! look:
damn, i used 8 times more space than needed! chhh, what am i saying. more than 8 times.
and i also said or, not xor. big difference.

i was thinking

of something to invent that would match the toilet in greatness.
a paint so black you can't see it. that would be cool. it's also quite impossible. that's why the toilet is the greatest thing ever created and if i ever become world leader the earth's flag will most certainly feature the outline of a toilet.
alternately, one could invent the 28-hour day and corresponding 6-day week. wait, that's already been invented. too bad it hasn't caught up yet.
i am having a terrible creativity crisis, which is most unpleasant, as i really need to be creative right about now. only 6 hours left to get really creative. but it's 3:30 in the morning here. later than it was yesterday when i walked home from A. oh. well. too late.


my name is Ret 784, also know as The Animal, and i've got blogging diarheea. i have to sh-- er, post on my blog every 10 minutes or so.
what's your name?

the toilet

this is an ode to the toilet, humanity's greatest invention.
q: where would we be without the toilet.
a: in a pile oh sh!t.
my deepest respect to the ones who created and enhanced the toilet. otoh,
my deepest disrespect to those who invented, for example, formal attire and dress codes. you don't deserve to burn in hell, not having to pay heating bills.
oh, and whose idea was it anyway to invent stuff like, you know, war? or philosophical concepts deeply imbedded in various cultures present and past, that treat people like commodities? who, why? because there's no room left in hell and they started screening candidates, that's why.
why can't people invent something useful for a change, something comparable to the mighty flushing toilet? or the pencil and paper? or the planar semiconductor process that is used in fabricating integrated circuits, such as those in this damn computer who the ancients might have viewed as GODLIKE!
yeah. stuff that changed the world. and it all started with
the toilet.
i am a slave of the toilet.
without a toilet, i am weak. i admit it.
if i ever became world leader, as if such a ridiculous idea had a material equivalent, i'd make a big statue of a toilet. make that two statues. no. make that four. and make sure everybody in the world who needed a toilet, but didn't have one, received one for free. free as in free beer. that would rule so much :D

this blog

lacks substance.
there. i said it.

i will now contradict myself.
note: as many have noticed, i can prove both statements (A) and (NOT A) using the same arguments.

i need a hundred beers. exctaly one hundred. thank you.

no i won't.
no it doesn't.
oh. wait.

so high i'm intangible

last night i dreamt i was hanging aroung with some friends whom i don't know in material life and getting high. then the cops came and we all went to jail. they went to jail as convicts, i went to jail as a visitor. it was a cool jail, more like a youth hostel. quite nice. friendly people there. all nice people. i must have travelled through time itself to the year 4096. in a dream.


that means mornin' and it's my std "hi dudes".
ay! it's my blog, and you will respect my authoritah!
i'll tell you about my findings about the universe, about total nonsense and, of course, about ME because i love myself.
once i drank too much and the room started spinning. around me. i got out of the toilet and the hallway was spinning. around me. the whole building was spinning. around me. got out into the quiet night, felt the cool, soft breeze, and the full moon was spinning around me. the stars were spinning around me. than it all became clear. my theories came to be confirmed. i was right after all. i'm the center of the universe.