purity

I found a sketch in my Google Docs about purity. I thought I posted about this earlier, but a search reveals that I have apparently not. M'kay then. It was inspired by something someone said / wrote, I'm just sorry I can't remember who they were so I could give proper credit. The original text only had one of the items in the list, and I took the liberty of expanding it. So here it goes:

Purity
is for

• drinking water
• fresh snow
• colors
  
• vodka
• 24k gold
• deionized water
• semiconductors
• sampling clocks
• extraterrestrial signals (you know that song the seti guy sings? :D)
  

et cetera.

Purity is for water, not for people.

Superb.

Oh, I have sinned tonight. Let me remember... how many times. Let me think how many sins I have commited during this life. It's comparable to the xkcd number I guess. (The xkcd number is/was at some time the largest number concisely defined.) I am certainly going to fucking heck (having just mixed curse levels) where it's comfortably warm and otherwise interesting - i.e., not just clouds and singing angels. I mean, if the angel songs are played for ever and ever and ever, are they creative enough for me not to get bored? I guess they might be, actually. I shouldn't care anyway, because I'm going down there where there's solid matter for me to engineer. Let us again quote the wise words of William Murderface - "I'd rather DIE than go to heaven!"

So. Oh. Sorry. I just saw on TV that time has changed. (Times have also changed, but that's another story). This calls for a heavy dose of ranting. I mean, I think I should invest several femtograms of energy in ranting about how FUCKING STUPID DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME IS! Dude! It's TIME! You DON'T fucking change it!!! It's STUPID, POINTLESS, and ECONOMICALLY IDIOTIC! FUCK DAYLIGHT SAVINGS< FUCK DAYLIGHT SAVINGS< FUCK DAYLIGHT SAVINGS! I never use Caps Lock.
Although forms of DST were apparently used in ancient times, modern DST was invented by an idiot called William Willett, who printed pamphlets and lobbied politicians to implement his demented idea into law. Most people (including the idiots in the press who said it on TV this morning) think that Benjamin Franklin invented DST, but they're WRONG. I mean, that's insulting to the great Franklin. I was quite disturbed when I heard it on TV, so I checked. Of course, my intuition was right. Franklin couldn't have invented such a monstrosity. Instead, he did a much, much, MUCH more reasonable thing: he just told people to wake up earlier in the summer. Which is just, because you don't change time to force people to adapt to the planet's natural cycle. DOH!! Fuck daylight savings, they aren't saving anything. They're causing chaos, they're messing up people's rythm, FUCK DAYLIGHT SAVINGS A(g64,g64) times over! Then drill 10 more holes in it and fuck it again till it fucking dies! "William Willett did not live to see daylight saving become law, as he died of influenza in 1915 at the age of 58". GOOD! Fair! There is a God! Oh. And I don't like Coldplay.