Friday, June 1, 2012

forkbomb

People do stuff on the Internet like trolling, spamming, etcetera. It's funny when people troll and spam in real life as well. For example, I've been recently spammed with election flyers, election slogans broadcast from cars, election-related discussions in bars from strangers, election-related discussions in bars from friends, and flower offers. Yes, in Romania people spam you on the street offering to sell you cheap flowers. Fuck, I know. Trolling however requires much more skill than simple spamming. For instance, my friends successfully trolled a robotics competition by building the shittiest possible robot that still works properly. They were actively trying to cut the parts to the wrong dimensions and splice the wires so they look like a rats' nest. That took hard work.
This being said, yesterday evening I tried to fork-bomb a bar. How do you fork-bomb a bar you ask? Very well. First you need a bar that's open 24/7, such as the one in my University. It should ideally have a lot of tables outside and only serve drinks at a counter inside. At some point they will need to change shifts and go through the inventory. While they do this there will necessarily be a 15- to 30-minute break during which no customers will be served any drinks. Hang around the counter and immediately after the new shift starts, buy some beers, go to the tables outside and shout "Bar's open!" This should be making other people shout "Bar's open!" to their friends and neighbouring tables and so on, until everybody, thirsty after the 30-minute closure, rushes to the bar to buy more drinks and forms an enormous queue. So, did it work? Nope. Seems that during the break, half the people left for another pub and the other half weren't really that thirsty. But anyway, that's how you fork-bomb a bar.